Kindle Edition on fire (so to speak)…!

One day out, and so far, so good on the Kindle edition for Fork in the Road … and other pointless discussions! Still awaiting word that the trade paperback version is available on Amazon (although I’ve ordered my own copies because I get certain privileges the little people don’t).

No, wait—the little people DO get those privileges, if they don’t mind ordering directly from CreateSpace instead of from Amazon. (CreateSpace can, well, create them immediately. A few more days for Amazon to catch up.) So if you’re dying for a print copy and don’t care about Amazon’s free shipping thing, you can order trade paperbacks here:

CreateSpace direct link for paperbacks of Fork in the Road

Otherwise, I’m okay with the one-day information on the Kindle edition, having seen this little page on Amazon just now (click the picture to see it bigger and better):

FITR-25-b

And now, I’m off to go see my dad for Father’s Day. And just because he’s so danged awesome. (Or should I saw “au-some”? No, I shouldn’t. It’s an old Au joke. There really aren’t any new Au jokes, though.)

Tomorrow I head off for the St. Davids Christian Writers’ Conference in Grove City, Pa. Once I’m back, I hit the ground running getting several of my NaNoWriMo novels tweaked and sent out in the big wide world….

.

One down, one to go…

Well, finally …

3DBook

Fork in the Road … and other pointless discussions  is lurking around the CreateSpace ether, waiting to be cleared for takeoff. I’m obsessively checking my email inbox every twenty-seven seconds or so (give or take five seconds) so I can check the digital proof as soon as it shows up and approve the final layout.

It’s been a long time coming, but I can honestly say I am happy and relieved to finally have it heading out into the world. It clocked in at about 4,000 words more than Head in the Sand … and other unpopular positions. Many of the essays in Head in the Sand were written for contests or other venues (which makes for a bit of unevenness in a few spots), but everything from Fork in the Road was written with the book in mind.

Gotta give a shoutout to a few folks who saw me through this process with advice and helpful tips (in alphabetical order):
Chris Bowyer (who wishes to be known as Alan Smithee)
Lynne Gordon
Jerry Hatchett
Dora Machado
Lisa McClinsey
Fara Howell Pienkosky
Mel Rigney

I quite literally couldn’t have gotten here without your friendship and wisdom, lovingly shared. Thanks, guys!

In anticipation of Fork in the Road going live any second now [furtively checking email on the second monitor just in case… nope…], I’ve put Head in the Sand’s Kindle edition on sale for $0.99!

HeadintheSandPRINTfinal-FRONT-SMALL

CHEAP! CHEAP!   <——- CLICK HERE!

 

 

The print edition of Fork in the Road should be available in a few days. Once I approve the digital proof, I’m ordering my own copies to take to the St. Davids Christian Writers’ Conference next week. You guys can fight amongst yourselves for the privilege to order your own print copies while I’m gone. And remember to contact me for a free autographed bookplate for either print book! I’ll use an actual stamp on an actual envelope to mail it to you! (This offer void for Kindle editions. It makes no sense to put a sticker over your Kindle screen.)

Be on the lookout for upcoming posts with direct links to Fork in the Road!

The Next Big Thing: A Blog Hop

bloghopbutton

Ah, a blog hop! I still haven’t quite figured out what it is, but I’m participating anyway. Read here, then hop away!

Below are my thought-provoking and informative answers to some questions a bunch of authors are asking and answering right now. And, I really do hope to have Secret Agent Manny out by late spring. Yes, of THIS year. Why do you ask?

——

What is the working title of your next book?

I’m most excited about Secret Agent Manny, a comic pseudo-spy novel (more comic than spy, although the pseudo part would probably be the best adjective of the three if I’m being perfectly honest).

I have a hard time getting into a project (especially a large project) until I have a good title, and although I’m usually open to suggestions for titles, I also know it when I hear it. And, at the end of the day, I’ve usually come up with it myself. And then I can move forward.

I’ve been told I’ve got a knack for coming up with great titles. When a previous project, Do-It-Yourself Widow, placed as a runner-up in a national novel contest a few years ago, I was told that my title was the best of them all.

Now, if only I could get similar praise for the other 75,000 words in that project.

*

Where did the idea come from for the book?

Secret Agent Manny is my 2012 National Novel Writing Month project. The idea has to be credited to two writer pals of mine, James Watkins and Fara Howell Pienkosky. While at a writing conference last June, I got a disturbing phone call from my husband still at home, about a burglary there. As the writing conference progressed, Jim and Fara poked and prodded me into believing that my husband was actually living a double life as a spy.

Since Jim and I are both humor writers, and since Fara, though much more spiritual than I, has one of the best senses of humor in these parts, we escalated my poor husband’s imagined double-life to outrageous proportions the rest of the week.

By week’s end I knew I had to adapt their crazy (or not-so-crazy) ideas into a novel—a novel that starts out with a phone call strangely similar to the one I had with my husband that day: “There’s been an incident at the house…”

*

What genre does your book fall under?

I’d be more worried if you asked me what table my book fell under. But, to answer your actual question: It’s a comic pseudo-spy novel. Weren’t you paying attention earlier?
*

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

See, I don’t think there’s enough real spy action for this to be a James Bond movie, and I’m not sure the comedy translates all that well outside of book form … but since you ask, I’ll have to go with Oliver Platt for Manny and Mary Louise Parker for Amanda—but only if she’ll eat a sandwich or something first. That woman is too thin.

*

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

A bored wife with too much time on her hands begins to suspect that her quiet, mild-mannered husband is really a spy … and she inadvertently turns their lives upside down in her quest to discover the truth.

*

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

After years of telling myself that it was all right to self-publish the humor-essay books but not the novels, I’ve decided that God gave me a direct path to self-publishing even the novels: I’ve worked in the prepress publishing world for decades, and I have professional skills as a typesetter and proofreader. Why would I wait to see my book in print for years while going the traditional publishing route when I can wear all the prepress hats myself?

Life is too short to be traditional about this. Besides, within the next few nanoseconds, the term “traditional publishing” won’t mean anything anymore.

*

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

I’m still working on Secret Agent Manny, but the first 50,000 words are done—and now edited—and were originally written in November 2012, as part of NaNoWriMo. But, once I’m on fire about a project, I can churn it out quickly. I hope to have this ready by late spring 2013. Just don’t quote me on that.

*

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Ha ha ha. Genre. Compare. You’re so funny.

*

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

More kudos to those pesky friends of mine, Jim and Fara, for the inspiration. And once I went from just having fun coming up with reasons my husband is a spy during a writing conference to actively taking notes for a novel, the ideas just wouldn’t stop coming.

*

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

You’d be amazed at how differently you’ll look at your own spouse when you see just how many common household items and common daily routines you can call into question. All you need is a paranoid, suspicious nature and a little creativity, and all hell breaks loose.

Powered by Linky Tools

Click here to continue exploring this Blog Hop!

BookFest coming soon … and other fun along the way!

Hey gang!

I’m not usually one for blatant self-promotion, but … well, okay, yes I am …

Anyway, the annual Bridgewater BookFest here in western Pennsylvania is coming up soon, in just a few weeks! If you’re a local author (or artist) and haven’t registered for a spot yet, do so quickly. The author registration deadline has been extended until August 31! (Go to the BookFest Web site for a registration form and instructions.)

I’ll be there again this year, selling copies of Head in the Sand  and handing out pathetic promotional bookmarks for Fork in the Road, which doesn’t look like it’ll be quite ready for sale by the BookFest.

I tried, dear readers, I really tried.

But, to have had copies in hand by mid-September, I would have had to cut corners quite a bit—making the book shorter than I would have liked, less funny than I would have liked, and with more typos or layout glitches than I would have been able to handle emotionally. (I’m a fragile flower, dear reader. No, seriously. I am. Fragile. Flower. Blossoming. All that crap. That’s all me.)

We’re still hip-deep in major bathroom renovations here at the new house—meaning we’re still driving the mile back to the old house to take a shower every day (and let me tell you, the fun goes out of that after several months)—and all summer I’ve gone from one major event to another: the St. Davids conference in June (for which I had to prepare a few speeches and talks and lead a few meetings), the RPCNA international conference in July (for which I played office manager and generally had an awesome time), then the first family reunion we’ve had in years (for which we played hosts at the new house, which wasn’t quite ready) in mid-August…

…and two separate “bat” incidents in the new house in between the RPCNA conference and the family reunion. (We’re still holding our breath for a third, hoping the first two were merely flukes.)

So, the fun just never stops here in western Pennsylvania! Next we’ll find piranhas have taken up residence in the new copper plumbing.

Up next then is the aforementioned Bridgewater BookFest (for which I am author liaison this year—and that’ll teach the steering committee to put someone like me in charge of something this important on a year that has just screamed “transition!” for me since January) … and then in early October a St. Davids board meeting, followed in late October by a publication committee board meeting for my denomination.

If I can keep breathing in and out properly (without hyperventilating) between now and November, then everything should settle down … just in time for the first holiday season in our new house.

Oh, good grief. I’m so doomed.

.

Head in the Sand Gets Good Review in Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards!

I entered Head in the Sand … and other unpopular positions in the Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards sometime last year. Granted, I didn’t win anything. I expected that, since I assume tons of people enter this contest now. But, today I received in the mail a review of the book by the judge (the esteemed judge #57). I hadn’t realized I’d get a written review. Very cool!

I also got a certificate of “recognition of participation.” Feels a lot like getting a trophy for good attendance in kindergarten. (Yay me! I can write a check and send things in the MAIL!)

All in all, I’m extremely pleased with the results, except for that pesky “4” under “Grammar.” (Seriously? The judge didn’t even use a proper em-dash in his/her comments. But I digress.) But, why quibble when even the paragraph on what can be improved has more positive than negative in it?

This is precisely the impetus I need to get Fork in the Road … and other pointless discussions  finished, since I believe it’s much more solid and consistently funny (so far).

I’ve typed up the judge’s review here:

—-

Category: Nonfiction

On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 meaning “poor” and 5 meaning “excellent,” please evaluate the following:

Structure and organization: 4

Grammar: 4

Production quality and cover design: 4

 

Judge’s commentary:

What did you like best about this book?

Cute cover! Your style is very punchy and fresh. Some excellent bon mots (Unitarian Jesus – ha!). The Hoss Burger has me drooling. I like the brevity of the pieces – get in, get out, deliver the message. Very good. You have developed a very personable style, and you write very conversationally; you’d be surprised how rare this quality is. I can almost hear you telling these stories as I read them on the page. You have a great sense for human nature and foibles. You also have a sense for very direct, plain English, and the strategic twist of a word that can really deliver a laugh. Good job!

How can the author improve this book?

It’s really tough to develop your own path in humor, and some of this travels along subjects that are well-worn. (The toilet seat joke in the first paragraph.) But you have a natural sense for “funny,” so I get the feeling the less you try to be funny, the funnier you will naturally be. You might even delve into subject matter that’s more serious, and find humor rising out of it as if by magic. You’d be surprised, and this is a really good way to “stretch” your talents. Go in unexpected ways, and you may surprise yourself.

New and improved! Now with more Vitamin B!

Hello again, from cyberspace. I’m pulling myself away from the lure that is the Wii in order to keep writing essays for Fork in the Road. The artwork is done and the book designer now has it. I’ll be writing the back cover blurb today and settling on a subtitle. Once I can get my daughter the photographer to take some lovely snaps of me with her pricey Nikon, we’ll be all set.

The trick will be having the book written by the time the cover is done. Yeah, um … just look at the time, will ya?

Multi-Author Book Signing, Dec. 11!

Hey, gang!  Long time, no type! I’ll catch up on stuff later, but for now I wanted to announce this upcoming event (info lifted from the group’s Web site without a bit of guilt on my part):

LOCAL BOOK SIGNING!

The Beaver County Wordsmiths are holding their annual Christmas Book Sale on SAT., DECEMBER 11, from 11 a.m to 2 p.m., at Dej’a Vu Books in Bridgewater (222 Bridge Street).

If you haven’t been to Dej’a Vu yet, it’s a charming little book/antique store nestled inside of an old brick building along Bridgewater’s historic main street. The store features a unique selection of antiques, books, collectibles, paintings, prints, pottery, and more! Dej’a Vu is open Tuesday-Saturday, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.  724.709.8246

THE BOOK SIGNING:  More than 10 local authors (including your favorite humor writer) will be taking part in the event, and we’ll all be happy to sign our books.If you’re local, come and get a personally signed book for that special someone!
If you’ve already bought my book, bring it along and I’ll sign it for you (or sign it again if you’re semi-stalking me). My books make great holiday gifts!  Buy two; they’re small!

Head in the Sand—NOW ON SALE!

The powers that be at Amazon.com have put Head in the Sand on sale temporarily … and of course, like any author, I’m totally out of the loop on how long the sale will last. I just noticed it myself purely by accident. (The author is always the last to know….) Right now, the book’s listed at  $8.60  at Amazon.com:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1452813418/ref=oss_product

So, if you’ve been waffling about buying the book, NOW is the time! We could all wake up tomorrow and be back in the Land of Full Retail Price, so hurry and get them while they last!

And truly, Jeff Bezos did this without asking me first. He’s just crazy like that.

Au-tographed Bookplates

Want my priceless signature inside your copy of Head in the Sand? No problem! Or, do you want my autograph inside your paperback copy of Mein Kampf or Fear of Flying? I can do that!

Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope, along with the name to use to personalize the bookplate, and I’ll send back both the bookplate and a business-card-sized bookmark! What a great deal!

Normally I’d say here, “Supplies are limited!” … but really, they’re not. I’ve got a ton of these things and enough black Sharpies to cramp up my hand until the middle of next year. So, send those SASEs on over!

Linda M Au
PO Box 133
New Brighton, PA 15066-0133

Head in the Sand … Now Available on Amazon.com!

posted on June 9th, 2010

From the Introduction to  Head in the Sand … and other unpopular positions:

——–

You don’t have to be a wife or mother, as I am, to identify with the stuff in this book. You just have to know a wife or a mother. That’s close enough.

I’d love to say that everything in this book is completely true . . . or that everything in this book is completely made up. Either way I’m going to be in a boatload of trouble with somebody. So, to keep from being lynched in the restroom of the local craft store, let me assert with unabashed honesty that everything in this book is as true as it needs to be in order to be funny. When starting each of these essays, my goal was to exaggerate when necessary to keep the humor up around belly-button level (because belly-buttons are funny).

Imagine my surprise to find out just how little I had to exaggerate once I really got rolling. These people I grew up with and hang out with and live with are just naturally funny. Well, from a slight distance, anyway. They just don’t know it yet.

Still, I’ll leave the specifics of exactly which parts are true and which merely further the cause of humor up to you, dear reader. Because nobody I’ve mentioned in this book is going to admit to anything. Not without a lot of coaxing and a cashier’s check.

So, now that the legal garbage is out of the way, just who do I think I am writing this stuff? A little background: I was raised in the sixties and seventies by a mother who drove a Fiero in the eighties and listened to Pink Floyd and a father who drove a pickup truck and listened to Johnny Cash. Somehow, all that genetic material added up to me.

Me? I drive cars old enough to vote and listen to “Weird Al” Yankovic. I know, I know. It doesn’t make sense to me, either.

But I take hope for the future of our family—because my kids drive nicer cars than I do . . . and listen to Pink Floyd and Johnny Cash.

——–

Head in the Sand is NOW available on Amazon.com!

Head in the Sand: … and other unpopular positions