I found two more grocery lists left in shopping carts in the past week. One was completely drenched because it had been left in a cart out in the rain, but I grabbed it anyway and let it dry out on the floor of my car before trying to read it. THAT, my friends, is how dedicated I am to this ridiculous, stupid hobby.
That list, though, proved to be nothing special:
Toilet Paper
Milk
eggs
Cereal
spag sauce [The handwriting was so bad I thought this said “spay savoy” at first.]
pasta
bread
bilogna [sic]
Meh. Nothing to write home about… or, nothing to write at home and then take to the store about.
The one I’d found earlier that week was a little more interesting:
2 honey mustard
2 Distilled water
2 Lem. Gatorade
Celery
2 Dental floss
2 Green tea
I haven’t figured out why this person needed two of everything… except the celery. Perhaps because celery comes in a bunch of many stalks (usually more than two). As usual, I tried to imagine the sort of project or meal someone was in the middle of concocting before he or she realized they’d run out of these things. In which case, the dental floss threw me off a little bit.
Still, if I had my choice, I’d rather be invited to the first person’s house for dinner. I love spaghetti, and I could even stay overnight and have a breakfast of eggs or cereal. Heck, I’ll even show up early and we can make bologna sandwiches for lunch. (I’ll assume the toilet paper is just a basic necessity in this case.)
But that second list? I can’t think of any beverage or smoothie or meal that would turn out good using those ingredients, no matter what other ingredients are already at your house waiting for you. I’ll pass. Thanks anyway.
Maybe the dental floss is to get the celery strings out from between your teeth.
Oh well. I’m still hoping to find that perfect shopping list: ax, rubber gloves, bleach, large trash bags, Luminol… But until then, my search for the story created from the perfect serial killer* shopping list continues…
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*as opposed to “cereal killer”
After reading this, I’m glad I bring my list back home! Heaven only knows what you;d do with one of ours.
Hey, I learned how to make shopping lists from you. I still do mine by aisle in the store, in two columns. It’s one of my few nods to the Type-A personality.
That’s so funny! I’ll save my next list for you, then wet it and put it in your driveway 😊
NICE! Now I’ll be expecting this, so please do! Make it a good one! 😀