So… today I voted. Yay me! And if you voted, yay you!
Even if the weather is horrible (and in western Pennsylvania, it often is), I never miss an election. Never in my forty years of voting. Not even a primary. Certainly not a general election. I’ve used absentee ballots when necessary. I’ve gone in snow, hail, and rain (like today).
Today’s voting in my ward involved paper ballots for the first time.
For many years I used old-fashioned mechanical voting machines, with those cool curtains I opened and closed with a lever, which made me feel like the Wizard of Oz. I loved voting with those machines.
Then I got married and moved to a different county, where we used these computer-type voting machines with folded-out privacy panels. Now voting felt more like I was a Jeopardy! contestant scribbling the question to that Final Jeopardy answer.
Fast-forward to a bunch of complaints about hacking, and some shady circumstances surrounding ballots being waylaid on their way to being counted… and today I walked into my polling place to find those paper ballots.
When I arrived, there were only two other people voting … and about six poll workers chatting. One of the poll workers was wearing green fuzzy slippers. They looked like these, only dirtier.
Now, I realize it’s a long day for these poll workers, but… old fuzzy slippers? Even I—the night owl slackingest slacker in the entire state of Pennsylvania—exchanged the sweats and slippers for real jeans, a real bra, and a real nice top (and my Converse Chucks) to go vote. And nobody even saw me except those six poll workers and the two other people voting.
Well, plus that woman out front stuffing propaganda into my fists. (Thanks, lady, but if I’m going into a polling place and I’m still being swayed by printed postcards, I haven’t done my research very well. Still, it was a lovely gesture, and I’m glad you got to see my Chucks.)
The poll worker taking my name handed me an “I Voted!” sticker.
Then another poll worker handed me the paper ballot in a folder and a second “I Voted!” sticker. I asked him if that meant I got to vote twice. He blinked at me.
I said, “Oh yeah, right. This isn’t Chicago. Sorry.” He blinked at me again.
I sat in one of the little privacy cubicles and took the paper ballot out of the blue folder. In my forty years of voting, I’d never used paper ballots before. These weren’t of the “hanging chad” variety, though. Instead, we had to color in these little jellybean-shaped ovals with a pen.
So now I’m having PTSD symptoms of taking the SATs in the seventies. “Color them in thoroughly or they won’t count!” The only thing missing was the #2 pencil.
Still, it was a straightforward ballot, and I’d done my homework and knew who I was going to vote for. Despite the school test flashbacks, it was a fairly painless procedure.
Once I was done voting, one of the poll workers slid the paper into this contraption that looked kinda like a fax machine, and whoosh! It was gone!
The skeptic in me wondered if the machine wasn’t, in fact, a paper shredder because I’m from the minority party around here. But I bit my lip and said nothing.
Anyway, I got to vote for lots of stuff. There still weren’t any referendum questions about Daylight Saving Time, though. So, all my dog-owning, toddler-raising friends must suffer for another year. We night owls don’t even notice when the clocks switch. We’re either awake anyway or still sleeping.
I hope those of you in areas with elections voted today. Participating in a democratic process isn’t perfect (hey, we’re all sinners, what did you expect?), but it’s still a lot better than all the alternatives.
If you haven’t voted yet, GO! There’s still time, even here on the East Coast!
