No, no that. Guess again. Nope. One more time. Aw, c’mon! Read the title of this post! Well, okay, maybe the title of this post gave it away. Yes, it’s a big giveaway! You’re so smart.
I’ve teamed up with 55+ fantastic authors [NOTE: that doesn’t mean we’re all 55+ years old—it means there are more than 55 of us participating] to give away a huge collection of Female Detective Mystery series starters to 2 lucky winners!
Oh, and did I mention the Grand Prize winner gets a BRAND NEW e-reader? 👀You can win my novel The Scarlet Letter Opener, plus other first-in-series mysteries from authors such as Hope Callaghan and Traci Andrighetti.
I’m so excited! My humorous (that’s debatable) fiction (that’s also debatable) work, SECRET AGENT MANNY, is finally available in audiobook form through Audible (that’s not debatable)!
I can’t say enough about my amazing narrator,Janice Wright, whose perfect amount of snark had me laughing at my own book as I listened to each chapter. (And I don’t usually laugh at my own stuff once I’ve published it. By then I’ve nitpicked it into the ground so much that I never want to see it again. Kinda like my ex.)
Janice was a CBS news anchor for a bunch of years, and she even costarred with Tony the Tiger in a national TV spot. (That alone won me over.)
There’s one spot where she has to say “BOING!” (because doesn’t all espionage fiction have the word “BOING!” in it?), and she reads it like a Looney Tunes character: “Boing-oing-oing!” I wasn’t prepared for that. I spit coffee all over my keyboard. It wasn’t pretty. But it was funny. So, you know, be prepared and listen while wearing a bib.
You can even hear a snippet from the book! (I didn’t get to pick which snippet, so it’s a tad random.) And, while you’re there, you can also click around and order the Kindle or print edition. Something for everybody! You’re welcome.
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On Monday (June 22), a HUGE promo/contest begins, but I’m going to save that announcement for, well, Monday. Mondays need something exciting, right?
I recently interviewed myself about the upcoming audiobook release for Secret Agent Manny. Nobody else was clamoring to do it, so I just wrote down some questions for myself and then answered them.
What is the title of this book?
I’m excited about my first audiobook, Secret Agent Manny, a comic pseudo-spy novel (more comic than spy, although the pseudo part would probably be the best adjective of the three, if I’m being perfectly honest).
I have a hard time getting into a project (especially a large project) until I have a good title, and although I’m sometimes open to suggestions for titles, it boils down to this: I’ll know it when I hear it. And then I can move forward.
I’ve been told I’ve got a knack for coming up with great titles. When another project, Do-It-Yourself Widow, placed as a runner-up in a national novel contest a few years ago, I was told that my title was the best of them all.
Now, if only I could get similar praise for the other 75,000 words in that project.
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Where did the idea come from for the book?
Secret Agent Manny started as a National Novel Writing Month project. The idea has to be credited to two writer pals of mine, James Watkins and Fara Linn Howell. While at a writing conference with them, I got a disturbing phone call from my husband, about a burglary at home. As the writing conference progressed and I heard more about this burglary, Jim and Fara poked and prodded me into believing that my husband was actually living a double-life as a spy.
Because Jim and I are both humor writers, and because Fara, though much more spiritual than I, has one of the best senses of humor in these parts, we escalated my poor husband’s imagined double-life to outrageous proportions during the rest of the conference.
By week’s end I knew I had to adapt their crazy ideas (or not-so-crazy—you decide!) into a novel—a novel that starts out with a phone call strangely similar to the one I had with my husband: “There’s been an incident at the house…”
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What genre does your book fall under?
I’d be more worried if you asked me what TABLE my book fell under. But, to answer your question: It’s a comic pseudo-spy novel. Weren’t you paying attention earlier?
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Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
I don’t think there’s enough real spy action for this to be a James Bond movie, and I’m not sure the comedy translates all that well outside of book form … but since you ask, I’ll have to go with Oliver Platt for Manny and Mary Louise Parker for Amanda—but only if she’ll eat a sandwich or something first. That woman is too thin.
What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
A bored writer with too much time on her hands begins to suspect that her quiet, mild-mannered husband is really a spy … and she inadvertently turns their lives upside down in her quest to discover the truth.
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Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
After years of telling myself that it was all right to self-publish the humor-essay books but not the novels, I realized that I have a direct path to self-publishing even the novels: I’ve worked in the prepress world for decades, and I have professional skills as both a typesetter and proofreader. Why would I wait to see my book in print for years while going the traditional publishing route when I can wear all the prepress hats myself? And everybody loves hats, right?
Life is too short to be traditional about this. Besides, within the next few nanoseconds, the term “traditional publishing” won’t mean the same thing anymore.
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How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
The first 50,000 words were written in November 2012, as part of NaNoWriMo. But, once I’m on fire about a project, I can churn it out quickly. The rest took another few months, but those two sets of time weren’t consecutive, so …
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What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
Ha ha ha. “Genre.” “Compare.” You’re so funny.
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Who or what inspired you to write this book?
More kudos to those pesky friends of mine, Jim and Fara, for the inspiration. And once I went from having fun with friends coming up with reasons my husband is a spy to actively taking notes for a novel, the ideas just wouldn’t stop coming.
*
What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
You’d be amazed at how differently you’ll look at your spouse when you realize just how many common things about him you can call into question. All you need is a paranoid, suspicious nature and a little creativity, and all hell breaks loose.
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SECRET AGENT MANNY is coming to an Audible audiobook near you SOON!
Yay! Charlotte’s Website, the third book in the Red Ink Mysteries cozy series, is finally available for preorder here. If you order now, it’ll mysteriously drop onto your Kindle on May 22. I don’t know how that works. I think it’s some sort of magic. It scares me a little. And excites me too. Kinda like my husband.
For you old-school types, the print edition of Charlotte’s Website should also be available on May 22. Although this whole pandemic thing has meant no in-person book signings or book festivals, I can still send you an autographed bookplate sticker thingy to put inside a print copy of any of my books. Ask for one (or more!) here. I won’t even make you beg… much. Just remember: these are for print books. Don’t put a sticker on your Kindle. It will end badly.
Next week, you can easily (and economically) catch up on the entire Red Ink Mysteries series by taking advantage of sales on both of the previous books in the series. Can’t you feel the excitement?
Mark your calendar. Set an alarm on your phone. Tell all your friends. Throw a socially distanced party. Drive around your neighborhood with banners attached to your car.
Whatever you do, don’t miss these sales!
And while you’re buying and reading and buying some more, I’ll be feverishly working on more books. It’s not like I have anything better to do these days. It’s either more writing… or quarantine baking… or <shudder> housecleaning.
I’ll choose the writing every time.
And you, my friend, should choose to read. I can think of a few books you might be interested in…
Well, not EVERYTHING. It’s print-on-demand, so they won’t be selling out any time soon. But hey, let’s pretend. Either way, it’s a big sale on some mighty great Kindle editions.
First is Secret Agent Manny, which is on sale until Saturday, September 7. Grab a measly 99¢ out of your bank account (plus tax) and the Kindle edition can be YOURS … immediately! If you’re into instant gratification, then click on over and start reading in seconds! I’m so excited for you!
Just 99¢ until Saturday, September 7!
And … hold onto your hats! To celebrate the arrival of the second book in the Red Ink Mysteries series (The Tell-Tale Heart Attack), I’ve knocked the price of the first in that series, The Scarlet Letter Opener, down to … [drum roll] …
If you’ve been lollygagging around and haven’t ordered Secret Agent Manny or The Scarlet Letter Opener (book 1 in the Red Ink Mysteries series) yet, next week is your lucky day! (Wait, whut?)
From Sept. 1–7, Secret Agent Manny will be just 99¢ for the Kindle edition!
No need to set a reminder on your phone (although, hey, I’m not gonna stop you). I’m sure I’ll inundate you with reminders all next week. That’s how much I care.
I have been chained to my desk so long now that I’m starting to feel like a character in a depressing Charles Dickens novel. If a bunch of orphans in ratty clothes start gathering around me and singing in Cockney accents, I’ll know it’s time to find a way out of this home office.
Until then, though, let me do a brief run-down on my summer:
1. editing The Tell-Tale Heart Attack to death. It’s the second novel in The Red Ink Mysteries series. It nearly gave me a heart attack just trying to finalize this project and get it out the door. But, as of last week, OUT the door it went! If you haven’t read the first book, The Scarlet Letter Opener, that’s a fun place to start. I cut my teeth on mystery writing with that first one—and it’s kind of “mystery lite,” for lack of a less derogatory term. This second book was a lot more fun to write. Half the time even I didn’t know whodunnit. (Oh, that first book smells like it’s time to go on sale. Be on the lookout for that sale in a week or two.)
2. going on yet another cruise with the hubster. He wanted to enter Carnival’s big Grand Blackjack Tournament to see what that’s like, and since he won a free entry back in December, well, there we were, on another cruise ship in May. Great fun … but not a good time of year for me to be away from the desk for a week. (You know, the one I’m currently chained to.)
3. attending the St. Davids Christian Writers’ Conference in June. The yearly trek to Grove City, Pa., was (as usual) like a big writer-family reunion. Crazy-good fun with crazy-good people. As a board member, I had a lot of tasks to complete before conference started, including doing the booklet layout in time to have printed copies ready to take with me. There’s nothing quite like late nights, jazzed up on caffeine, gathering faculty data and troubleshooting layout issues with Amazon! I’m kidding: there are a LOT of things just like it, but most of them involve torture or stints in hell. And speaking of typesetting …
4. typesetting books for everybody but me. It’s a good thing I enjoy typesetting book interiors, because I’ve been doing those in my sleep lately. Some were for friends (we’re all debuting new books at Beaver County BookFest next month). Others were for a great cause and hobby of mine: TYPEWRITERS. You can pick up these amazing TYPEWRITTEN anthologies of what a non-digital world might look like here: Paradigm Shifts (which happens to also contain a story of mine) and Escapements. Both books are bargain-basement-priced, in order to get them into as many hands as possible. These projects were a labor of love. And although I thoroughly enjoyed working on them, squeezing these projects in after that crazy cruise was the result of copious amounts of caffeine and lots of loud grunge music at all hours.
5. outlining and planning six new, shorter books in an upcoming new cozy mystery series, under a pen name! It’s been great fun finding a voice through my alter ego, Muriel Preston, who apparently writes cozies (shorter ones than I’ve been writing, so they’ll be churned out a lot faster). Her first series will be the Totally Tech series. Six covers ready to go!
6. heading back east soon for a few days of visiting family and outlining the six Muriel Preston cozies. Apparently I’m going to unchain myself from this desk, then drive six hours to the other end of Pennsylvania, only to chain myself to a completely different desk. Hey, whatever works! I love road trips.
Once the autumn kicks in (not a moment too soon for me), things don’t slow down. I’m staring at Beaver County BookFest in early September, the AAUW Kitchen Tour in late September, a trip to West Virginia for a big book festival in early October (as an attendee this time), the yearly gathering of typewriter nerds (also in West Virginia) in late October, a few board meetings, and …
She’s younger than I am. She’s prettier than I am. And thinner. Much thinner. She has gorgeous long hair, flawless skin, beautiful blue eyes, and keeps her nails long but still manages to type a lot faster than I do.
She drinks espresso shots throughout the day, listens to smooth jazz, used to be a chain-smoker until she quit cold-turkey about ten years ago, and joins the gym every January, though she stops showing up at all by March.
She’s been married—twice—but both times realized the guy was just too big a distraction from her work. Each of the men wasn’t surprised when she left. They’re all still good friends, and on rare occasions she’ll take them both out to dinner or a movie. At the same time. Then they all get creeped out about it and don’t have any contact for at least six months.
She is an enigma wrapped in a conundrum. I, on the other hand, am a conundrum wrapped in bacon.
Starting this winter, the not-so-mysterious, nothing-like-me, completely fictitious Muriel Preston will start churning out light, short cozy mysteries. Just because she can.
My own cozy mystery series, The Red Ink Mysteries, is now officially two books long. (The Tell-Tale Heart Attack is finally available, folks.) The third book, Charlotte’s Website, is due out by Christmas.
But our new friend Muriel? She’ll be churning ’em out a lot faster. She has nothing better to do, after all. She lives for her work. Lucky for me.
Her first series, the Totally Tech Series, will contain five separate quick reads. I’ll update here as these become available. For now, take a gander at her tentative titles:
Hey, gang! Do something for me, wouldja? Vote for Secret Agent Manny to win in the Mystery/Thriller category for the 50 Best Indie Books of 2018. Thanks to Readfree.ly for holding this contest!
