Am I getting annoying?

To those who know me in real life, that might seem like a rhetorical question, but I’m serious. Well, “serious,” with air-quotes, because I’m rarely serious. As those who know me in real life already know. (Didn’t I just write that phrase? Who’s editing this stuff, anyway?)

This week’s contest is MYSTERIES WITH HUMOR! This BookSweeps giveaway will give two lucky winners 30 Mysteries with Humor (as I just mentioned—am I still repeating myself? I gotta hire an editor) and an e-reader! That’s a $350 value, all for the price of a few clicks! (And please follow me on BookBub once you click those coupla clicks…)

bit.ly/MysteriesWHumor-July2020
CLICK HERE: bit.ly/MysteriesWHumor-July2020
Ooooh, pretty cover! So… spy-ish!

You can access the contest easily by clicking here: http://bit.ly/MysteriesWHumor-July2020

I’m not allowed to enter the contest (plus, I own more e-readers than I have a right to—I only have two eyes and very little free time). But I can participate vicariously through my loyal readers (or the disloyal ones—hey, I’ll take any sort of readers I can get!), so please go enter on my behalf. And let me know if you’re one of the winners! It’ll be the high point of my otherwise dull, dreary, locked-down existence if one of you wins. I don’t get out much these days (or the previous days, or all the days last year, or… well, never mind. Now I’m just depressing myself).

I know I’m turning into a sort of contest-slut these days (and there are two more coming up after this one!), but it’s fun to participate in contests. Except that I’m not allowed to enter them (wait, I’m STILL repeating myself? I need serious help), and I have to pay to participate in them, and all I get out of them are some new subscribers and followers, and… gosh, apparently I don’t understand how contests are supposed to work, do I?

Well, before I sink into despair over this, please go enter the contest and lift me out of the mire of everyday thrills like contactless grocery pickup and pizza deliveries dumped on our front porch without our knowledge.

Seriously, I’m desperate. Just enter the contest here!

http://bit.ly/MysteriesWHumor-July2020

Geez, I’m still repeating myself! <——And I’m repeating the fact that I’m repeating myself…

Goodbye! I’m leaving before my head explodes with a pointless, uninteresting infinite regression.

Turtles all the way down…

Stay safe out there! And don’t forget to enter the con—crap!

( bit.ly/MysteriesWHumor-July2020 )

Secret Agent Manny: AUDIOBOOK!

I’m so excited! My humorous (that’s debatable) fiction (that’s also debatable) work, SECRET AGENT MANNY, is finally available in audiobook form through Audible (that’s not debatable)!

I can’t say enough about my amazing narrator, Janice Wright, whose perfect amount of snark had me laughing at my own book as I listened to each chapter. (And I don’t usually laugh at my own stuff once I’ve published it. By then I’ve nitpicked it into the ground so much that I never want to see it again. Kinda like my ex.)

Janice was a CBS news anchor for a bunch of years, and she even costarred with Tony the Tiger in a national TV spot. (That alone won me over.)

There’s one spot where she has to say “BOING!” (because doesn’t all espionage fiction have the word “BOING!” in it?), and she reads it like a Looney Tunes character: “Boing-oing-oing!” I wasn’t prepared for that. I spit coffee all over my keyboard. It wasn’t pretty. But it was funny. So, you know, be prepared and listen while wearing a bib.

Go HERE to nab your own copy of Secret Agent Manny on audiobook:

https://amzn.to/30ZWzQT

You can even hear a snippet from the book! (I didn’t get to pick which snippet, so it’s a tad random.) And, while you’re there, you can also click around and order the Kindle or print edition. Something for everybody! You’re welcome.

On Monday (June 22), a HUGE promo/contest begins, but I’m going to save that announcement for, well, Monday. Mondays need something exciting, right?

Today’s excitement, though, is right here:
SECRET AGENT MANNY ON AUDIOBOOOOOOOK!

Coming to an audiobook near you!

I recently interviewed myself about the upcoming audiobook release for Secret Agent Manny. Nobody else was clamoring to do it, so I just wrote down some questions for myself and then answered them.

What is the title of this book?

I’m excited about my first audiobook, Secret Agent Manny, a comic pseudo-spy novel (more comic than spy, although the pseudo part would probably be the best adjective of the three, if I’m being perfectly honest).

I have a hard time getting into a project (especially a large project) until I have a good title, and although I’m sometimes open to suggestions for titles, it boils down to this: I’ll know it when I hear it. And then I can move forward.

I’ve been told I’ve got a knack for coming up with great titles. When another project, Do-It-Yourself Widow, placed as a runner-up in a national novel contest a few years ago, I was told that my title was the best of them all.

Now, if only I could get similar praise for the other 75,000 words in that project.

*

Where did the idea come from for the book?

Secret Agent Manny started as a National Novel Writing Month project. The idea has to be credited to two writer pals of mine, James Watkins and Fara Linn Howell. While at a writing conference with them, I got a disturbing phone call from my husband, about a burglary at home. As the writing conference progressed and I heard more about this burglary, Jim and Fara poked and prodded me into believing that my husband was actually living a double-life as a spy.

Because Jim and I are both humor writers, and because Fara, though much more spiritual than I, has one of the best senses of humor in these parts, we escalated my poor husband’s imagined double-life to outrageous proportions during the rest of the conference.

By week’s end I knew I had to adapt their crazy ideas (or not-so-crazy—you decide!) into a novel—a novel that starts out with a phone call strangely similar to the one I had with my husband: “There’s been an incident at the house…”

*

What genre does your book fall under?

I’d be more worried if you asked me what TABLE my book fell under. But, to answer your question: It’s a comic pseudo-spy novel. Weren’t you paying attention earlier?

*

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

I don’t think there’s enough real spy action for this to be a James Bond movie, and I’m not sure the comedy translates all that well outside of book form … but since you ask, I’ll have to go with Oliver Platt for Manny and Mary Louise Parker for Amanda—but only if she’ll eat a sandwich or something first. That woman is too thin.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

A bored writer with too much time on her hands begins to suspect that her quiet, mild-mannered husband is really a spy … and she inadvertently turns their lives upside down in her quest to discover the truth.

*

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

After years of telling myself that it was all right to self-publish the humor-essay books but not the novels, I realized that I have a direct path to self-publishing even the novels: I’ve worked in the prepress world for decades, and I have professional skills as both a typesetter and proofreader. Why would I wait to see my book in print for years while going the traditional publishing route when I can wear all the prepress hats myself? And everybody loves hats, right?

Life is too short to be traditional about this. Besides, within the next few nanoseconds, the term “traditional publishing” won’t mean the same thing anymore.

*

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

The first 50,000 words were written in November 2012, as part of NaNoWriMo. But, once I’m on fire about a project, I can churn it out quickly. The rest took another few months, but those two sets of time weren’t consecutive, so …

*

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Ha ha ha. “Genre.” “Compare.” You’re so funny.

*

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

More kudos to those pesky friends of mine, Jim and Fara, for the inspiration. And once I went from having fun with friends coming up with reasons my husband is a spy to actively taking notes for a novel, the ideas just wouldn’t stop coming.

*

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

You’d be amazed at how differently you’ll look at your spouse when you realize just how many common things about him you can call into question. All you need is a paranoid, suspicious nature and a little creativity, and all hell breaks loose.

*

SECRET AGENT MANNY is coming to an Audible audiobook near you SOON!

SALE! Everything Must Go!

Well, not EVERYTHING. It’s print-on-demand, so they won’t be selling out any time soon. But hey, let’s pretend. Either way, it’s a big sale on some mighty great Kindle editions.

First is Secret Agent Manny, which is on sale until Saturday, September 7. Grab a measly 99¢ out of your bank account (plus tax) and the Kindle edition can be YOURSimmediately! If you’re into instant gratification, then click on over and start reading in seconds! I’m so excited for you!

Just 99¢ until Saturday, September 7!

And … hold onto your hats! To celebrate the arrival of the second book in the Red Ink Mysteries series (The Tell-Tale Heart Attack), I’ve knocked the price of the first in that series, The Scarlet Letter Opener, down to … [drum roll] …

FREE … until Thursday, September 5!

The Secret Is OUT!

It’s ready!
It’s available!
It’s for sale!
It’s… well, you get the idea!

What, exactly, is “it”? Well, see, it’s this little story. It kinda goes like this:

Bored empty nester Amanda Charles has too much time on her hands. After an “incident” at the house while Amanda is away, she begins to suspect that her husband, Manny, is not really an engineer, but is instead a spy… and she inadvertently turns their lives upside down in her quest to discover the truth. Does Manny really work at the nuclear power plant… or is he a spy? Does Manny really take endless trips to the hardware store for power tools and plumbing parts… or is he a spy?

Amanda enlists the help of two of her friends to find out what’s behind Manny’s increasingly suspicious behavior. And, she’s going to find out what’s going on if it kills her.

MANNY AVAILABLE RED BACKGROUND

And now, just in time for National Sea Monkey Day gift giving (What? Doesn’t everyone give gifts for National Sea Monkey Day? You totally should!), you can get your very own copy of Secret Agent Manny! Both the paperback and Kindle editions are available now!

You want the Kindle edition? Click here: Secret Agent Manny Kindle edition.

You want a paperback copy? Click here: Secret Agent Manny paperback edition.

You want 200 copies for your closest friends and family? Click here: No, seriously, click here!

I’m so excited about this book release I could wet my pants! Seriously, I—oh, dear, excuse me!