Hit the road, Linda!

It’s almost NaNoWriMo Eve, boys and girls! And what does that mean? It means Linda has to get ready to write another novel during November as part of the annual self-flagellation ritual known as National Novel Writing Month! Yay!

This year’s novel will be a romantic comedy called Hit the Road, Jack! I’ve been doing a lot of planning for this novel…

Let’s see…

Basic plot points logged in the Plottr software… check!

Basic character sketches typed into Scrivenercheck!

Book cover done and ready to use… check!

Scary horror movie reruns on repeat all through October… check!

Massive amounts of Halloween candy consumed until I want to throw up… cheWAIT! NO! I’m not ready!

I knew I was forgetting something! The chocolate! But I can solve this dire situation in plenty of time for NaNoWriMo Eve, thanks to socially distanced grocery pickup and a little bit of will power (so I don’t eat all the candy before the little brats—I mean, the cute kids in adorable costumes—get here next week).

Sure, they’re kinda cute, and sure, I’m gonna have bowls of candy ready for them, even if their costumes are just unwashed pajama pants and dirty, used N-95 masks, but they’re not getting my stash of Fun Size Hershey’s Miniatures!

Everybody knows that—after cheap liquor and cigarettes—chocolate and coffee are both classic novelist fuel. (Kinda like rocket fuel, only better tasting.)

So, once I’ve got my rocket fuel here alongside me, and once the little brats—I mean, cute little trick-or-treaters—are done nibbling away at my candy stash, I’ll be ready for NaNoWriMo 2020.

Because, after the year we’ve all had, what could go wrong? I figure sitting at a typewriter, hooking myself up to a coffee drip I.V., and inhaling chocolate for a month is a sort of mirror of the past six months anyway.